I sometimes listen to the Adam Carolla radio show. On it, they have a bit called "Mr. Brightside," where callers tell Adam their woes and he somehow comes up with a way to look on the bright side.

For example, "I lost my job." -- Bright side: "Well, some people don't have a job to lose in the first place!" Example: "I had to put my cat to sleep." Bright side: "So? The cat probably wanted it that way; all cats want to do is lie around and sleep anyway!"

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"I have a big date tonight, but an enormous inflamed pimple has sprouted on my chin!"

"Look on the bright side--if he likes you with a pimple, he will ADORE you when your face clears up!"

"It's rainy, windy, and gray outside now--with monsoon-like rains pelting the house."

Look on the bright side... Theres a big punch-up in your favorite soap on TV, and the baddy comes off worst Surely you aren't going to miss that?

I have just been bombed in my mailbox with lots of Spam

Spam is great when fried and eaten with french toast.

Your mother-in-law just told you she is moving in.

Hey--not to worry--now you have that DART BOARD you've been wanting!

You have a headache, a blister on your foot, and a sprained elbow--but you NEED to go to work.

Hey, remember the time you found your boss in the storage room with the secretary? Well, just casually mention that, and he's sure to let you have the whole week off!

I parked my brand-new expensive car in a parking lot, and now it's all dinged/scratched up on the passenger-side door!

Hey--don't worry--you can now use the scratches that are currently there to personalize/etch your initials onto the car!

It's your wedding day--and you have MAJOR indigestion.

You'll get though it so long as you don't do the Chicken or Birdie Dance(video) (It is bad if your are not from the UK and get roped in! ) And nobody asks the DJ to plays "Wind beneath my wings" and of course go easy on the scoff

Its way past your bedtime and you are locked out of your house and it starts raining Hard what will you do?

No need to worry; your clothes will now be washed and you'll get a finer appreciation of Mother Nature--and GOOD door locks!

Your XMAS tree just fell down and set fire to your living room.

I now have a perfect, irrefutable excuse for not hosting a pack of nitpicky relatives and their ill behaved children at any time throughout the holidays.



You were rear ended at a red light.

L-A-W-S-U-I-T!!!

You just fell down a flight of stairs and cannot move or talk.

thats ok i'll have a little nap till someone finds me....they will find me wont they...? ...will they even look for me?

the dog just ate all your Chritmas baking you left out

On the bright side, I never did like cookies anyway

You just knocked out a tooth.

On the bright side, it's one less to brush/floss around...

On the way to your first date with that 'special someone', you realized you drank too much beer during the day-- and now just urinated all over the front seat of your car.

... on the bright side, it seems that she is into that kind of thing ! Who'd have thunk it.

While dancing at the office party your pants tore wide open in back.

On the bright side, the best-looking girl in the office felt sorry for you--and agreed to do the same thing!

You agreed to help the elderly woman next door shovel her driveway, then you suffered a MASSIVE heart attack.

Great news! Free food on your insurance company.

Your New Year's cruise ship has hit and iceberg and is sinking fast.

Look on the bright side--you needed a few fresh ice cubes in your cocktail anyway...

Your wife just told you that your 16-year- old daughter is now pregnant with triplets and the drug-crazed father is incarcerated.

Fantastic news! Three more people to cut my lawn in a few years.

That loud boom you just heard was your car blowing up in your driveway.

Look on the bright side--now you don't have to worry about those two rear tires that looked a bit deflated this morning!

A HUGE truck just drove by your house and the vibration it made shattered EVERY window in your home.